- Upgrade your look from shit to mediocre before going to uni.
- Stop smelling like your favourite British cuss word.
- Don't die on Sunday. (Hence, prevent making headlines like "Advertising student dies due to overwork and dirty room". That shit is not half as entertaining as "man chops off his penis in the middle of Penryn Street.")
- Don't spill any coffee/other liquids/edibles on your final folio on monday morning. If you think you might, then just die on Sunday. You deserve it.
-Apologise to all the players for "Pitches be tripping," for saying they are at the bottom of the league table. As it turns out, they are not. (Okay, don't apologise, just acknowledge.)
- Don't say "yaay" or start hi-fiving people immediately after handing in. Wait for the right time.
-Eat more cake than your metabolism can possibly handle.
- Please get some fucking sleep, so you don't look like a zombified version of yourself and can upgrade your look from mediocre to upper mediocre before going out to celebrate at night. (No, this is still not the right time to hi-five people.)
- Surround yourself with any kind of alcohol. Don't put too much thought into what gin/vodka/wine/whiskey you want. You know you don't give a shit. Just go for something with a pretty bottle. Then surround yourself with drunk inebriated people with complete disregard for appropriateness, before eventually dancing your ass off.
- Remember, you are in heels and need to get home in one piece. So, drink just enough to still be able to act like a fucking lady if you have to (even if you are feeling like Amanda Bynes on the inside.)
PS: There is no right time for hi-fiving people. I lied. JUST DONT DO IT.
Divya
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