THE CUNT

To all the boys who thought that this was going to be some kind of a brave revealing post about the mystery of the lady flower, I offer my sincere apologies. THIS is not remotely related to THAT. It just happens to be one of those maniacal weeks before a super stressful deadline when the swear words are just flowing like water from an ice sculpture would; if an imbecile placed it outdoors in the middle of peak Indian summer. 

Since "cunt" is the one swear word I've picked up on, as a part of my linguistic cultural exchanges with my very British friends, I thought it was okay to take the liberty of using it as a title. I have to say it has sort of grown on me. I also know that it was completely possible to make my point without using that ice sculpture reference, but I just really felt like using the word imbecile.

So yes, its cool if you want to stop reading now. 

For those of you who are still here, I am really just writing for selfish therapeutic reasons tonight. I don't have anything important to say. I can't believe that I don't even have an amusing, reputation sabotaging, embarrassing anecdote to write about . For a person who is really clumsy, always in heels, generally high on life and not in her native country, I don't understand how that can happen. 

Oh yes, its because you actually, physically need to let yourself out of the house to let any of that stuff happen to you. And by letting yourself out of the house, I don't mean going to 35 old hill crescent's kitchen table. That by the way is where Anna lives,(Not the kitchen table, but the address); and where she cooks me Georgian buckwheat and feeds me ugly, but tasty health bars. 

However, what I do have is a dumb list of weird things that we have had to google in the last 7 days, that may cast serious doubts on the presence of cerebrum in my brain. But, I am hoping this is normal for being an advertising creative. I have actually just realised that calling myself an advertising creative makes about as much sense as calling myself rich and posh. Make this deadline, get a bloody job and then maybe you can use the two words together. And when I say two words I mean, "advertising creative".  

Anyhow, I've decided to embrace the insanity. So, here goes-

1. Sexy apple

2. Titsy orange

3. Sketch of vomit

4. Fat snow-white

5. She clown

6. Dentist villain

7. The large woman who lived in a forest

8. London apartments
9.What would Jesus do?

Needless to say, London apartments came up with the most soul shocking results of them all. So shocking that I may just prefer to live under a a self made rubble of eraser shaves I happen to be covered in right now, than housecunt, sorry, house hunt in London. But we will see how it goes.

x

Divya 

(Writing with greasy hair, wearing sketch pen as warpaint and still on Anna's kitchen table.)